Monday, September 8, 2008

The End is Nigh!

'Big Bang' machine to start up Wednesday

Well folks, it's been a great run, but here we are at the end of the world. On Wednesday, scientists will fire up the greatest particle accelerator ever built. Lead atoms will be smashed together somewhere near the speed of light, and according to alarmists and skeptics, will likely create a cluster of micro black holes that will form a pulsar in the middle of the planet. In a few days, we'll see a strange light coming out of the Indian Ocean, followed by tidal waves, dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria!

Alright. I don't claim to know anything about particle physics. Heck, I don't know anything about physics much at all...well....except for gravity choosing inopportune moments to exert itself by slamming me into the ground. But how often do you hear these folks come out of the woodwork with a great portent of doom and gloom and they're wrong? (Hint: The answer is "just about always".)

Oh well, I figure if they're right, and we do see light coming out of the Indian Ocean in a few days, I'll light into the Single Malt and have a helluva party to greet the world's destruction.

At least we don't have to worry about Global Warming any more. *snort*

1 comment:

phlegmfatale said...

Nah- it won't be the particle accelerator wot does us in: it'll be the nanobots.

Current Quote

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." – Thomas Jefferson